After a long good life, my movie watching buddy and sidekick Mighty Moses has risen up to Valhalla. With years of helping me fight the tyranny of this world and the onslaught of evil monsters, his final day did come. Ever ready for battle, this brave boy once took on a whole alien invasion fleet after I lay paralysed from a pesky laser blast. Taking out the boss alien as the rest of the ET SOB’s couldn’t get off Earth fast enough.
I used to ride Moses into battle, truth be told we did look a little stupid running down the road with this 17 stone wolf sat howling on the back of this boxer dog. He did seem to like it. With the alarm going off in the wolf den we were once again off fighting some sort of evil. To our shock and horror it was an almighty Kraken arising from the sea! Both saying “Shiiiieeeet” at the same time! A truly incredible sight as this huge 80ft octopuss smashed down on the quay. Waves and sea mist crashed down around us as we stood under it hulking frame. Its gigantic tentacles flew through the air above our heads destroying everything in their path….. This one was gonna be a tough MO-FO!
Jumping on the beast’s back I go to town punching my way through it’s smiley skin but to my horror, it doesn’t even make a scratch. Before I know it I’m flown skyward into the air, crashing in a heap on the concrete floor. Scrambling to my feet I’m hit again, this time the giant sucker of the tentacles slams me down, then another. I’m pinned down! The Kraken is way too powerful, it’s gonna rip through this whole town and hundreds will perish if we don’t stop it……
Mighty Moses bounds into action, biting and clawing his way to me. Releasing one of the tentacles from around my neck. Time seems to pause……… He looks me in the eye and smiles as to my horror the Kraken has managed to grab both his back legs and starts pulling him towards his chopping beaked mouth. “My time is now done Mikey Wolf, it’s been a good life. Now go carry on the good fight.” I let out an almighty roar to free myself, as I do Mighty Moses winks at me and laughs “Pull my claw!”
I let out a bitter sweet giggle as I knew what he was intending to do. Reaching for his outstretched paw, I gave his claw a gentle pull. As I did a terrorising toxic gas cloud emitted from Mighty Moses rear end, 12 and half years of stored gas engulfing the Kraken. “RUN YOU FOOL” he shouts as I smile with a tear in my eye.
“Godspeed sweet Moses” I whisper as I run, turning to see the kraken burst into ball of flames “You’ve saved the day once again”
Not quite the same without him under my feet farting and snoring as I watch films but I can now, at last, stretch my legs out! We will all miss him very much though we know he had a great life and was very spoilt. x