Revenge of the Ninja (1983) Only A Ninja Can Stop A Ninja In Cult Classic 80s Action Movie

Day 28 Revenge of the Ninja from 1983

Tagline – “They’re the last two alive… But when they meet, only one will survive.“

Who’s our hero today?
Kicking and smashing his way to revenge is our ninja warrior Cho Osaki played by the real deal Shô Kosugi.

Had I seen this one on VHS back in the day?
I’ve come to realise the mind isn’t always reliable when you jump back to memories. I’d seen this around 35 years ago. I have a funny feeling that many films around that time all mixed together in my mind to make one big movie. Franko Nero fighting alongside Sho Kosugi. Now with the ease of Google I see that Revenge Of The Ninja the second in the Ninja trilogy with Enter The Ninja (1981) coming first and Ninja III The Domination (1984) finishing it up. Big result for me not recalling that much. As this picture is so freaky crazy you feel like jumping up excitedly halfway through it and start shadow fighting like you did as a kid.

Quick plot run down.
After all his family, apart from his infant son, are sadly butchered by rampaging evil ninja’s Cho decides to start a new life in Salt Lake City in the Untied States. As an expert doll maker, Cho opens a doll shop with his friend and business partner Braden. Little does Cho know that his dolls are being used to import heroin into the country. So a battle between a brutal unstoppable ninja and a mafia crime lord is about to tear poor Cho’s life in half yet again! Is he ready to fight the most ultimate battle against the odds? You betcha.

Does the hero have a day job?
A perfectionist doll maker.

What’s our heroes special skills?
All manner of martial art skills learnt and passed down through many years. With his Ninjutsu skills he can also conjure up tricks and illusion’s when needed. Also he has a strong fearless, never give up attitude.

Heroes weapon of choice?
He has every ninja weapon he needs. Swords, throwing stars, spikes, arrows and claws.

Heroes drink of choice?
No time for drinking as the non-stop action would not allow it.

Does hero have a sidekick?
He is assigned by the police an American Karate champion called Dave Hatcher (Keith Vitali) who joins Cho on a few missions. He also has his son Kane (Kane Kosugi) to look after but this kid has been trained well by his father and can take care of himself. He fly’s and punches all over the place. Kane could kick Short Round ass from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984).

Hot girl? Damsel in distress or ass kicker?
Cathy (Ashley Ferrare) is a karate and ninja learning child minder and doll shop helper I think? But does she have a double side? She’s a feisty girl, can fight, gets a wet t-shirt moment and likes to flirt. While training with Cho she’s only wearing her top!
Cathy – “I just want you to teach me the way”
Cho Osaki – “Well, if you wanna work out, you forgot your pants!”
Cathy – “Do you really think I forgot?”

Who’s the main baddie?
Is that Will Ferrell’s Dad? Braden (Arthur Roberts) is the silver mask ninja of death. After his best laid plans selling off the drugs goes side ways he now has to deal with the local mafia boss Caifano (Mario Gallo). Braden goes into stealth mode. No one is safe as all manner of death comes each and every way.

Baddies special skills?
Every Ninjutsu skill in the book and more. With no morals this ninja is a ruthless killing machine.

Psycho baddies rating out of ten? 10/10
Full on psycho Ninja levels.

Heroes balls of steel and anger ratings out of ten? 10/10
A true master of the arts but against a foe as strong as him he’s gonna need that little bit extra.

Surely it features a training montage scene?
A little bit of training for his son Kane, who by the way is Shô Kosugi real son.

Does it feature an impossible mission?
Not for these ninja’s but for us every day folk! Shiiiiiiit we be goners in minutes.

Will I be needing to pause the video player? AKA are there any boobies?
On consulting the IMDB parents guide section on nudity. Imaging my surprise when I notice a rookie mistake. There was one quote that was ok “A couple has sex in a tub. Butts and breasts can be seen. There is moaning as well.” but the guide fails to notice on the second scene “A woman’s bare butt and crotch can be seen when she performs karate in one scene.” On my closer inspection the bare butt and crotch in question were actually covered with skin coloured tights rendering the bare, un-bare! So there you go, it does pay to have this question! Just tell that to all the direct messages of hate mail I keep getting!!…. Only joking.

Sex scene?
Kind of answered above however I let you know they are in fact murdered in the act! With the cop saying “The Coroner says it’s gonna take a jackhammer to get them apart!”

Any good totally random surprise scenes?
The whole film is crazy random. They throw everything at you. You get hypnotherapy, heat and water torture, bloody deaths, a fighting granny and a full on Ninja vs American Indian fight. You get countless mafia gangsters, a gay cowboy, a biker and a French hat wearing thug. Axe attacks, wrestling take down moves, bullet dodging, magic tricks. Then add little bits of comedy and nudity. This film is certified nuts.

Films body count? Low/Medium/High? 
Must be making it’s way to triple figures…….

Innocent baddie death rate?
Four friends just chilling on a park bench. Four odd friends I must add. You got a heavy metal biker thug, an annoyed, camp looking cowboy, a black guy in sports gear with a ghetto blaster and a kamikaze guy! Still, they just minding their own business when……. the next minute they being kick senseless by Cho and Dave.

Explosion ratio? Low/Medium/High?
If I’m honest I can’t remember as I was so taken in my all the action. I’m gonna go for medium.

How many stuntmen probably really died making this film?
There’s a stuntman who face plants a shallow water feature that must of hurt! Plus there were guys flying out of moving cars, being kicked in the head, shooting off buildings. Just the fight scenes alone must of caused many bruises. They all did a grand job.

Any cool car chases?
Who needs a car when Cho is a ninja terminator. In a blooming frantic scene he chases down a Dodge camper van with three hoodlums who have just attacked him and robbed his shop. Jumping on the roof, attacking through the side windows and them smashing through the front windscreen. All the time the van is moving as punches and kicks rain down like wildfire. There’s fights, bullets and Tomahawk axes. A brilliant scene.

Best lines
Cho Osaki – “Only a ninja can stop a ninja.”

Any other familiar faces and actors pop up?
Don Shanks was the Native American named Nakoma who was friends with James “Grizzly” Adams in the much loved wilderness series in the seventies called The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams with Ben the bear.
It was a nice surprise to see Professor Toru Tanaka pop up as I’d just seen him playing Subzero in The Running Man (1987)

Production Credits
Revenge Of The Ninja is directed by that guy who loves a good Ninja romp, Sam Firstenberg. Check my review for his American Ninja (1985) for further films he has directed.
It is written by James R Silke who also worked on Ninja III The Domination (1984), King Solomon’s Mines (1985) and that one with the muscle twins? The Barbarian Brother’s David and Peter Paul in the fantasy adventure The Barbarians (1987)

Cheese-O-Meter! Low/Medium/High?
This is super high on the cheese dips but thank the ninja gods for it as we wouldn’t want it any other way.

IMDB score rating – 6.1/10

Wolfman ACTION & FUN rating – 10/10

Wolfman over all film rating – 6.5/10

Closing thoughts………………………………………….
OH MY! this movie is ridiculous fun. It starts real bad with the Ninja attack fight scenes, lets be honest, with rather bad staged fighting. However when they get to America it really starts to ramp up the fight choreography and all I can say is “all fuckin hell breaks loose!“. The carnage and mayhem is pushed to the MAX. All the ninja tricks and weapons are thrown at you in as brutal manner as they can. As blowpipes, swords, nunchaku, throwing stars and that chain and axe thing ninjas used called a kusarigama. You get scantily clad girls, nooky scenes, gore, gangsters and a fighting old lady. It’s wonderfully bonkers and a right riot of a laugh.

PS At time of writing Revenge Of The Ninja is on Netflix.

Feel free to let me know your thoughts on the films if you want but please don’t feel you need to as I know it’s pretty relentless this month. However, most important, have fun with the movies.

Keep it filmy…. Mikey Wolf.