I know now that it was irresponsible and reckless of me but it seemed the best way to introduce the Steven Spielberg classic shark movie Jaws to my two children Nyah (17) and Kofi (15). Getting both to help me in the garden they gave me that usual puzzled stare, the gaze of “what on earth is the mad man up to now?” as I placed the hosepipe through the back door and turned on the tap.
“Mum’s gonna go ballistic! like that time with the crazy rocket you made with 300 odd bottles of coke strapped together! Half the street was covered Dad” I look at them with a cheeky smile and started pumping up the dinghy! Then I remembered the window cleaning bill and the wasp invasion. “It was fun though wasn’t it?” I tentatively reply as I kept pumping air in the boat. “Put these on” as I throw them wetsuits, flippers and masks. They both look at each other somewhat perplexed “Oh no here we go again!”
As we squeezed into the dinghy in our gear, Kofi says the golden words without even knowing the quote “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.” I laugh excitedly “It cosy, hold on we’re getting ready“. Little did they know I had already filled a 100 gallon drum with water behind us. Reaching down I pulled the trigger on the water drum “Hold on tight the feature presentation is about to start“. With wild frenzied screams of pure hysteria we took off down the garden path, shooting down the stairs in through the kitchen back door.
With the fun gods looking after our journey we somehow made it into the kitchen in one piece. The cascade of water was pretty intense though it had mellowed as we hit the hallway, releasing our panicked faces to a calming smile. The torrent of water had caused an ebb and flow like tide which bopped us up and down. The hallway river had risen alarmingly to halfway up the door height but with a little maneuvering we popped in the lounge. Thinking ahead of time, I’d already hung everything from the ceiling, bags of popcorn and other snacks dangled from string and cans of drink floated around on mini boats. As I’d fixed the telly to the ceiling we could just mellow, grabbing the TV remote control I pressed play and the movie began as the dinghy slowly swirled around.
When the movie finished I looked over to see what they thought, still a little dazed they replied with two thumbs up and a smile. Just before they could say anything a figure walked up to the front door with a key! “OH shit it’s Mum home! Nooooo don’t open the door!“. As the tsunami of water was released out the door it caused an incredible whirlpool in the lounge. We tried to stay calm as the carnage erupted around us but it was an impossible task. Our uncontrollable petrified screams followed us as we burst out the door with a furious Louise joining us in the tiny dinghy, off down the road we went.
Massive respects goes out to Sir Todd over at his truly great movie site Cinema Monolith for inspiring me to revisit Jaws. He went positively Jaws bonkers, pop over and check his superb writings that shine his big love and affection for this classic movie. Yeah we all know the film but he unearths so much more than you can possibly imagine.
Have fun watching movies…. Mikey Wolf
PS Jaws was a success, both very much enjoyed the fishy tale with a bite. The batten has been passed on to the next generation. Till the next film.